he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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