remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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