I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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