it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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