Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize