D3 body, D1 cock
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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