My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
