____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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