I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize