at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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