I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize