Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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