yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm both gender and math confused
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
