Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
