You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
