dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
