Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
