super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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