Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
