Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If I had your ass I would rule the world
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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