i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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