In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
