oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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