New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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