i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Someone came in the potted fern
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
