i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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