I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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