Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize