i don't like sucking hair
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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