im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back