i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Randomize
