i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
