So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
