Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
