I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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