Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
