Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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