Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
