i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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