I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize