I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
