Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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