is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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