hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
