i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
