just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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