If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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