you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
