I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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