so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
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You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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