Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
