Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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