he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
