But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
