Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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