OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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