He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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