You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
