Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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